This one time I did my Yoga Teacher Training

Many moons ago, I was sat passenger site (because I still can't drive) and my wise pal asked me "what do you think about cancel culture" to which I replied "well I guess it's not good if someone cancels last minute but it they give you plenty of notice that's fine". My lovely pal did not correct me, she most likely smiled to herself at my naivety and interpretive answer. A response reflective of a time where I didn't worry about being inevitably wrong, spoke more freely, wrote more openly and didn't think twice before writing a bad grammered blog. (Yes grammered is a word)

Many years later I DO now understand what cancel culture is and it is RIFE I tell yah. So in homage to my former la la la floaty head in the clouds optimistic glass overflowin Bella, I am back today to share another instalment. There is peace in knowing we won't always get it 'right', not everyone will agree with or like us, and our opinions and experiences are always evolving. That's showbiz baby'.

Change is inevitable. Evolution, however is optional. Tony Robbins

Those who know me, know I have been wanting to do my Yoga Teacher Training for the longest time, and many have been cheering me on because I can get my legs into all sorts of spaghetti doll situations (and therefore viewed me as a good yoga person). First bit of bullshit I want to deconstruct...

LESSON 1: Do not measure your worth based on whether you can touch your toes!

You do not have to be flexible to do yoga.
Being 'good' at yoga doesn't exist and we often base this on the way we celebrate unrealistic shapes and bodies in western marketing and ideologies.
Yoga is for everybody (however this is often matched by contradiction in the way we teach)
Yoga is so much more than the asana (shape)

Glad those basic principles are out of the way. Now I can get back to talking about ME (more on the ego later). So yes, I had always dreamed of doing my YTT (Yoga teacher training) in Bali because I wanted to kill 3 basic birds with one stone. Explore a new country, get a tan and get a qualification. The sort of girlie that would likely of said Namastslay at the time. Fast forward to 4 years later (2022), running out of money, optimism and innapropriate yogaology I still hadn't signed up for my YTT. Thus, my dreams of becoming a yoga teacher were collecting tears and dust.

LESSON 2: A polite nudge that you will die at some point, what you waiting for?

Shout about your dreams, even if they sounds real silly and unachievable.
Get an accountability buddy
Practice an open mind. Sometimes letting go of the 'how' can open up new doors.

My boyf of 6 years poor little ears were practically bleeding by this point. The relentless drone of me talking about YTT on repeat like a broken record was enough to make anyone conveniently need the toilet whilst having a convo with me. Until one day he said... "Oi sad little moany girl, you don't need to quit your job and travel across the globe, why don't you just do you YTT part-time in London?". One realistic convo led to another and before I knew it I was packing 10 Sweaty Betty leggings in a suitcase for my first week in London. The yoga blocks were finally in motion.

LESSON 3: Love is around you if you open your eyes to it.

People are incredibly kind (we just tend to remember the few shitty occasions and blow them up).
London accomodation is very expensive
Sofa's are comfier than floors

As I had spoken to every Tom, Dick, Harry and dog about my upcoming YTT adventures in London, I was not short of generous offers from London locals. Shout out to Lauren and co. for letting me move into their house for a week, followed by the London boys who let me crash on their sofa sporadically across the 6 months. Not forgetting Katrina. Bafta speech has now ended.

Ultimately, if you don't ask you don't potentially get and most the time people will offer. Therefore...Take people up on their offers, not everyone is just saying it for the sake of it. Unless someone is asking you if you would like a cup of tea. Get in the bin.

I spent my 4 week YTT course spread across 6 months in the sensory overload location called Hackney. When we think about yoga we often associate it with peace, quiet and relaxation... Which contrasts beautifully with the teacher training academy which was hilariously situated under a railway. The consistent intervals of sound as the train passed by overhead during meditations and yoga flows served as a beautiful reminder and metaphor for life and our relentless thinking mind and its distractions. Not only did I get used to the sound of the railway and my automatic reactions to it, but it made me think of all the bits in bobs in life that we have no control over, but we have full mastery with how we react.

LESSON 4: You possess the power to move through the guarenteed shite in Life.

We will always find something to worry about, becoming aware of those automatic thoughts and choosing where we put our energy (or f***s) is a great place to start
Life is noisy but that's apart of the fun. Ye haw.
Yoga teaches us to breath and move in / through some shite (physically, mentally and energetically) some may call it a moving meditation.

How many times in life have you put something off because you were waiting for the right moment? This all too common form of procrastination and self-criticism cripples our dreams and desires on the daily. During my YTT I re-discovered the all too familiar self-doubts of body image. It goes something like this... 'when I'm size XXX and look like (insert unrealistic stick insect doing handstands and backflips) "THEN I'll be a good yoga student / teacher and let myself enjoy this incredible existence". If like me, you aren't letting yourself enjoy aspects of your life because you are not accepting of yourself right now then WAKEY WAKEY YOU WONDERFUL BEING. On the one hand I think it's healthy to be motivated by wanting to 'level up', 'evolve','be better' but if it's at detriment to your everyday present then perhaps it's time to sit back and re-evaluate your expectations. (and maybe see le therapist?)

LESSON 5: Stop being mean to yourself, you'll never know it all.

Repeat after me... "I am enough, right here, right now"
Taking a moment to stop and evaluate some of the mean things you tell yourself everyday is a fantastic way to come face-to-face with your inner bitch m8.
What are you putting off because you are waiting for conditions to be just right? Spoiler alert... they never will be.
Hey you, you are mighty fine and abundantly loved.

The teacher training experience was extremely humbling. Nothing more refreshing than being a beginner again and accepting that you do not know it all and NEVER WILL! Take a moment in your daily life to catch yoursef feeling 'silly' or playing the comparison game. Two feelings and behaviours that can teach us a hella lot about our innner dialogue and story we tell ourselves. During my teacher training I noted that I felt like the absolute bees knees whenever I got postive feedback and on the same day could feel like a big fat failure when I got constructive feedback. The two extremes highlight the possibility of treating success and failure as the same, not letting our ego play into either too much.

That's all for today folks, if anyone ever wants to come flow and so some yoga with me...drop me a message on here or my Instagram.

Love Bella. X

Some Light Reading: