Embracing the ugly and uncomfortable- Life lessons from a Half Marathon

Apr 18, 20227 min read

Well...paint me green and call me a cucumber. Can you believe it's been 5 long months since the last blog instalment. How very inconsistent of me. Life has been wild, fun, boring, stressful, peaceful, surprising, mundane and whacky all at once. As this is a blog platform and not a dissertation I shall save my personal biography for the next few instalments. For now, let's play catch up as we reminisce on 'Running my first Half Marathon'. YAWN. Before you leave, give me chance to win you back. I appreciate this is a typically boring subject saved for the smug one's amongst us that are 'runners'.

Today's instalment will not be your usual un-relatable and yawn worthy runners guide. I'll save the real advise for professionals and Runners World. Instead, take a journey with me as we delve into the adventures of loosing my toenails and developing the knees of someone who get's heavily discounted bus tickets and fish & chips.

I bring you...Life Lessons from a Half Marathon.

Lesson 1: Only in the darkness can you see the stars.

If you've read my blogs before you might remember I have a complex with New Years Eves. I'll break it down for you:

Anxiety and the general feeling of impending doom combine nicely with the countdown into the new year. Resembling the tickety-tock of the world imploding as opposed to birth of a fresh new year. Yipee. In-fact I'm not the only person to have felt weird on NYE, 'in 2012 10 million Brits claimed NYE to be their most depressing night of the year' (Bustle, 2018).

A positive I've learnt from this irrational build of of energy is that often in times of darkness, we find ways to clutch onto any opportunity to regain a perceived sense of control. Fortunately for me, this particular wibbly-wobbly event on NYE 2019 manifested itself in the form of me signing up to a Half Marathon on the 1st January 2020.

If a meltdown is the catalyst to you signing you up for something that will hold you accountable to your mental and physical health, then that's a pretty good (somewhat forced) start to personal therapy if you ask me. Embrace your down dips of fear and uncertaintity because I can ensure you they force you to grow and evolve in ways a gym membership cannot.

LIFE TIP:

Feel shitty? Sign up for a running event.

Lesson 2: Your Mom was right- Comfort over fashion wins...

7 months post half marathon, all 10 have finally grown back. Yes, I'm talking about my poor little piggies... who most definitely did not make it to the market. I won't sugar coat it, the impact of running with old trainers that are too small for my feet caused intense bruising and blisters under my previously beautiful little trotters. The result of my poor choice of footwear = all my lil tootsies went black & blue, literally fell off and grew back in odd ways.

I must admit, this isn't the first time my choice of footwear has caused my toe-nails to say adios amigo. The first time this happened I worked a 12 hour shift in ASOS own wannabe Adidas Stan Smith copies. Note to self, don't be cheap and don't work in hospitality, it's not worth the pain.

Incase you didn't get the memo the first time (like me)...Pick sensible shoes or lose any chance of being a foot fetish model. Alternatively, some hard-core runners argue that we don't even need toe-nails any more, a bit like an appendix they can be useful but we can survive without them'.(Runners World, 2018). RIP open toed sandals.

LIFE TIP:

Feet hurtie? Invest in some comfy, quality shoes.

Sorry- nobody asked to see the toes but I knew you were a lil bit curios too.

Lesson 3: The finish line if for the Ego. The Journey is for the Soul. Deep bruh.

Yep, hate to be a walking, talking cliche but training for the half-marathon was all sorts of wonderful and uncomfortable feels. Especially on those longer runs, training was like a personal therapy session. Just me, myself, my chaffing thighs and inner dialogue all trying to get along nicely.

Numerous times, I got particularly irritated by my EXPENSIVE STATE OF THE ART Airpods as they failed to securely stay sat in my sweaty little ear holes. After refraining from stomping on the air-pods myself and safely putting them back in my bum bag, I was left with no choice but to embrace the sound of my own Darth Vadar breathes as I forcefully crushed my toe nails into the pavement. In-fact, on race day I didn't listen to my music once. I also quickly learnt that it is deemed bad runner etiquette to listen to your pods whilst running as it can be dangerous. Safety first kids.

Ultimately, the eerie silence of the long runs forced me out of my comfort zone both physically and mentally. Think about it though, in a world full of noise and distraction when was the last time you forced yourself into silence and really listened to your inner dialogue and busy mind?

If you lack motivation, which is guaranteed along any journey. I recommend you do it for something greater than you. A big push for me was knowing that I was doing the Half Marathon to raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support. My commitment to the race date and charitable cause made me accountable during moments where I could think of every excuse to avoid going for the planned run 'the dog ate my running shoes', 'I forgot my PE kit', 'My toenails are falling off?'. No really.

The start of the run always differed; weather, time of day, moods, energy- but the end of the run always finished the same...an intense feeling of pride, strength and occasionally severe dehydration, cramp and nausea with a smile. Indeed, research shows running has the power to improve your mental state both short-term and long-term. Who doesn't love a free endorphin rush, fresh brain cells and a boost in mental resilience! (Outside, 2020).

LIFE TIP:

In need of some cheap therapy? Go for a long walk or run without the comfort of your headphones and tune in- inwards.

Lesson 4: Inner beauty and strength wins

Ever looked at a photo and thought **** me, do I really look like that? I can guarantee that reaction if snapped by a race photographer during a sporting event. If you do look beautiful and sexy being captured as gravity pulls your weight to the pavement, let a gal know your secrets.

See exhibit A and C below for reference.

You may wonder why I am revealing these horror snaps with you today, usually my blog is filled with wonderful, aesthetically pleasing pics of sunsets and recent model shoots. Not today, here's why:

1- I don't model any more so those wonderful, un-relatable and polished snaps have officially dried up

2- I needed some click-bait to lure you my dear reader into the blog

3- Life's more fun when you don't take yourself too seriously

4- It's important to showcase normal human body in all it's wonders

Please compare the model shot from a running shoot I did with the real-life half- marathon running shots (excuse the excellent quality of the images if you will). You're welcome. Fun fact, stats show that simply looking at a Barbie Doll can negatively impact body and self-esteem and increase a desire to be thinner in young children (Linardon, 2022). Further highlighting my point that we should be celebrating normal bodies and our inner beauty and strength more than ever before.

Which brings me to a major life lesson from this running journey. It's not what you look like it's how you feel on the inside that really matters. When I was younger, running was a method of torture to drop weight and 'burn fat', with the promise of a flat belly being the finish line. Older, and a little bit wiser, this half- marathon journey pushed me towards mental resilience and strength instead. If brains had a six pack- mine definitely developed a few during the process.

Side note- running great lengths also means you need extra fuel. A major perk of of training is that you can be even more of a foodie.

Regardless of what we look like, we all have our own special spark and magic. To put it into perspective, at the half-marathon a man wearing SKI-boots and a man without legs beat me to the finish line by a good hour. A wonderful lesson to use the people in-front of you to inspire, learn from and push you forward!

LIFE TIP:

Feeling meh and de-motivated? Set a fitness/heath goal NOT focused on Short-term physical looks. Rather a Long-term goal that can be measured without the scales. (ex. "I'm going to run a half marathon to raise money for Macmillan")

Lacking pizazz and confidence? Write down 5 things you love about yourself. ("I love my strong powerful legs, allowing me to run, walk, dance")

Lesson 5: Don't wait to be perfect. You never will be...

Ever put something off because you didn't feel ready or good enough? Yep, we all have. I do this on a daily basis. This quote summarises it beautifully, "We sabotage the great things in our lives because deep down we don't feel worthy of having the great things" (Taressa Riazzi). In my experience, the trick is to be aware of this self-sabotage and work with it, not against it.

For example, when training for the half-marathon, I decided to run along a very, very flat promenade for the duration of my home-made training plan. It was safe, by the sea, outside my house and therefore less procrastination was involved. However, the half marathon route was the opposite; all hills, dips, inclines, and somewhat resembled a very unpredictable roller-coaster.

The funny thing is, I knew the route, I even worked for the events company who did the route years before. However, like a stubborn child I still decided to train on the opposite terrain out of pure laziness and fear of the unknown. The quote 'Fail to prepare, prepare to fail'. comes to mind with this lack of prep and love for the cosy nature of a safety blanket.

Against the odds, I still managed to run the route on race day, I applied my lazy flat running mechanics to the fluctuating inclines and completed the half marathon with the help of adrenalin and the support of spectators.

Moral of the story is, doing the 60% is better than waiting and doing the 0%. Work with your self-sabotage not against it. Keep running, even if that means crawling in life inevitable up's and downs.

LIFE TIP: